Something I Lost.
I have been working in retail now for nearly six and a half years, and I must say I know I am reaching the end of this chapter. But the one thing retail has brought up for me the most is style. I have never been fussed about selling things to people.
Honestly, for me the only thing worse would be selling things to people to earn a commission. Working with clothing all day five days a week, styling customers in the products on hand and even just seeing what people wear day to day sounded like heaven to me when I first started. Selling was and has always stayed a bit of a byproduct of this. But the further into retail I have become, the more I have felt my own sense of style slipping away.
Wearing a prescribed uniform made up of the products in your store could go either way, it could enhance or it could detract from your style. At a glance my workplace represents a lot of my day to day wear outside of work - casual, laid back. But it is missing so many things that I love like varied textures, structure and the perfect drape.
Sure, I have found many pieces in my workplace that I love - like this shirt - but these are gems that float through every so often that instantly fill you with that feeling of renewed joy because it is truly you. But keeping that joy is the next hurdle that comes with looking at that item everyday and even more that come with wearing it in your workplace.
Clothing for me has always been a deeply emotional experience. I know I like a piece because it makes me feel something so intuitive its hard to describe. I will wear all pieces to death if I can but some do not make it that far.
It is almost like the fabric clings onto experiences like dust on a mannequin. If I have a bad experience in something I struggle to wear it again. I often find that when I do wear them again I struggle to shake that emotion for the first few hours until I find a routine that brings me away from it.
The work shirt I was wearing the day my dog died is still even lightly stained with my makeup on the inside of the collars, totally out of sight of anyone else but for me its too much of a reminder to wear again. So instead I opt for the newer version whenever I wear a white button up to work. And while that was a very negative experience its not one of the common ones you have from working in retail.
Audrey Leighton Vintage X Black & Brown London Belt, Vintage Bracelet from Audrey Leighton Vintage, Vintage YSL Ring from The Details Store
If I wear something I like to work I often find I cannot wear it again outside of work. In moments of frustration at work I have felt internal tantrums on weekends if I do not have anything to wear that is not sold at my workplace. And of course because I work in retail the majority of my wardrobe is from my workplace.
I have been working to change this, detoxifying my wardrobe of old work clothing the second it leaves the store and can no longer be worn to work. Keeping items like this shirt seperate, so I cannot possibly ever wear it to work. And finding new pieces I have always admired other people wearing but never tried myself like vintage accessories and gold jewellery.
I am a fair way off still and I still find myself having internal tantrums, particularly around events that I could not find anything else to wear. But by making it a focus I feel my style slowly coming back into focus, bigger and better than ever before.
