23.
The year between my 22nd and 23rd birthdays was a massive one. And I mean more than it was just busy because it most certainly was. The best way to describe it would be full. Full of new adventures, challenges, love, changes and lessons. Every time my birthday passes I have an idea of what I want for the next year, but I never really go into much detail on that. So, this past year ticked off a lot of things but in ways I never could have thought.
When I turned 22 I had just completed my first full year as a retail assistant manager working pretty damn close to full time. I’d graduated from my degree and was able to start looking at life beyond the surprisingly comforting walls of student life. Now let me say, I was the worst student ever and I really didn’t enjoy being one. I love learning but the way you do that learning at University never sat well with me. But life outside of that Student job description really is a whole different ball game.
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At University or whatever educational faculty you attend you can procrastinate ‘real life’.
You live in this mystical ‘if’ of what could happen outside of your studies and while you might be applying for jobs you still have a fall back of whatever part time job you have and the thought that you will still get plenty of opportunities when you graduate. You cruise on through enjoying it and riding that night-the-unstarted-assignment-is-due high of adrenaline, fear of failure and caffeine. To be honest I a little part of me misses it – but never again.
Leaving that behind the ifs become a whole lot of what now’s. That mythical dream job becomes something you actually have to pursue and not delay any longer in case you fall out of touch with your industry too much to get it. But for me this also meant sitting down and trying to figure out my path to my dream job. If you’ve been reading this blog for the past few months since it began, you’d know it in very vague terms.
My biggest business idea, the one that equally terrifies and excites me, is my dream. That is what I see myself doing until someone knocks on my office door and says, “sorry Em, you really gotta retire before your dementia gets any worse”. So, a lot of this past year has been one giant what now that constantly changed, delayed and started off again. Still I didn’t ever think I would be starting a business already even though that is pretty much my longest lasting life goal.
I did actually get offered a position about five months ago that would get me started in my dream area and within a brand I would love to work for. But timing has been one big struggle for me this past year and oh boy was the timing of this offer bad. We were meant to find out that day whether our home loan had been approved and if the purchase of our first house was going ahead. Then this news got delayed and thankfully I was able to have a week to let them know whether or not I would be taking the job, but in the end, it felt like it just drew out the inevitable heart break of having to say no to a dream. We couldn’t own a house and move interstate at the same time so all I could do was cross my fingers tight and hope that I would be able to find another version of that dream here.
One thing I did really want for this year was to move out of home and in with my love. Drew has always aimed to own a house, so we spent a large part of this year looking at properties before eventually buying our current home. I, however, had only ever thought of being a home owner as a pipe dream I wouldn’t fulfil until I was much more established in my industry. Because of this I’d never really given it much of a thought but as soon as we started looking it became something I really wanted too. Owning a house not only means it’s yours but that you can really make it yours. We’ve started small here with three fruit trees and an extended but growing patch of grass out the back, but I can already see so many other things I would love to do.
However, owning property really brought the reality of this new stage in life. I’d always had moments of worrying about my finances prior to this but I’d never really had to stick to a budget as closely as we do now. It’s meant less impulse buys of food and clothing which is just as easy as it is hard to give up. I work in a shopping centre, so I am constantly surrounded by delicious looking foods, amazing smelling coffee and pretty things I would love to own. FOMO hits pretty hard if you ever take your homemade lunch into a food area and to be honest it does whenever I open Instagram up and see all the pretty new things I’ve seen in stores and online filling my feed. But at the same time, it is worth giving up because it means we can own this place and everything in it and together work towards bigger better things.
So now its onto my 23rd rotation around the sun. Obviously, I hope that by this time next year I have a successful first business running. But that’s the only concrete career/major life goal I have right now. My biggest hope is that I can get the time to reconnect to elements I’ve been longing to have more of in my life this past year. I want to connect with friends more frequently and get back in touch with the hobbies that have slowly been pushed aside to make room for whatever has popped up that needs attending to. I hope that with a bit of time figuring out all the workings of this blog and my business I will be able to get myself a rhythm that doesn’t feel like I’m rushing for a deadline or trying to force things into existence. I want to live in the moment more often and stop trying to peer so far ahead into what is coming up that will need doing and take each hurdle as it comes instead of working hard to anticipate something that may not be there.
Whatever it brings I’m sure 23 will be a good year. There is already so much to look forward to falling into place like watching one of my best friends get married and starting on a new and exciting element to my current job. So, here’s to another year of adventures, challenges, love and changes. I hope it’s the best yet.
